“Louder than sirens louder than bells sweeter than heaven and hotter than hell” a.k.a. 12 drummers drumming December 24, 2012

Please tell me that this is the last gifts my true love is sending me for the 12 days of Christmas. I have just about managed to squeeze the 12 drummers into the cupboard, but what the hell am I going to do with 12 bloody huge drum kits? Anyway did you know that the 364 items given as gifts in the 12 days of Christmas song would cost £67,000 this year according to PNC Wealth Management. That is a 6.1% increase on the previous year. I have searched high and low to snare some good songs about drumming that might help to ‘cymbalize’ Christmas. Look out for a couple of Billy Bonuses to end this series of posts too.

First up is the lovely Florence Welch and her Machine with “Drumming Song”. The song was released as a single in 2009 and managed a lowly number 54 in the UK. It comes from the album ‘Lungs’ an international hit LP that went to number 1 in the UK and top 5 in Ireland, Australia and New Zealand. The single did slightly better in the NMEs top 50 songs of the year for 2009 where it finished 48th. “Drumming Song” was nominated for best video at the 2009 Q Awards and Best Pop Video at the UK Music Video Awards in the same year. Whilst it won neither of these it did take the prize for Best Styling In A Video at the UK Awards.

The second song I have chosen for you today is probably an obvious choice for a festive song to those of you who know me. It’s the Dame and the Crooner; better known as David Bowie and Bing Crosby with “Peace On Earth/ Little Drummer Boy”. The former was written especially for Bowie’s appearance on Bing Crosby’s Merrie Olde Christmas TV show. The show was recorded in September 1977 and it was alleged that Crosby didn’t know who Bowie was. personally I doubt that is true. Bowie also performed “Heroes” on the show. the music press utilised all their black humour skills in late 1977 suggesting that no one would ever want to appear on TV with Bowie. This was largely because he had recorded TV shows with Marc Bolan and then Bing Crosby and within a few weeks both Bolan and Crosby had died. “Peace On Earth/ Little Drummer Boy” was finally released as a single in the UK in 1982. It reached number 3 in the UK and Germany and number 6 in Ireland that year.

And next up is the first of my Billy Bonuses for today, supreme drummer Cozy Powell with “Dance With Devil”

And an extra Billy Bonus for your delight. When I was at school I sat next to a young man who was already a skillful drummer and he went on to ply his trade with the Tom Robinson Band and Stiff Little Fingers. His name is Brian ‘Dolphin’ Taylor. I haven’t seen him in more than 30 years. But Brian if you happen to be reading this feel free to get in touch.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my readers a very, very funky happy Christmas and a groovy new year

“some revolution is going to happen today I’m gonna chase the dark clouds away” a.k.a. 11 pipers piping December 23, 2012

Oh my God when will these bloody gifts stop arriving. I mean I love my true love to bits but where in the hell am I supposed to put 11 bloody pipers piping. I’ve never like the cat strangling sound of bagpipes anyway. Enough of my woes, I’m sure that you have worked out that it is now day 11 of my 12 days of Christmas series of posts, hence the 11 pipers piping. Will there be many pipers left after all the proposed UK defence cuts? Military personnel in the UK Armed Forces are expected to fall from 102,00 to 82,000 by 2018 and it is expected that a number of regimental bands may not survive the proposed mergers of residents.

But on to some happier thoughts, I have picked two piper related songs for you today, albeit rather tenuous in the case of the second one. but the first song comes from one of my favourite bands from my early teenage years. It’s Chairmen Of The Board with “Pay To The Piper”. Most of the band’s biggest hits were Holland Dozier Holland compositions which may well have been recorded by the Four Tops had HDH remained at Motown rather than leaving to form the Invictus label. The song reached number 13 in the US Hot 100 and only managed a lowly number 34 in the UK in 1971. “Pay To The Piper” was the band’s fourth single. Their first single “Give Me Just A Little More Time” is their best chart performer on both sides of the Atlantic peaking at number 3 in both countries. I am amazed that the band didn’t do better from a chart perspective, they recorded some classic songs. Big kudos too for recording the excellently titled “Shaggin’ The Night Away”.

The second song for today is a little more tenuous as I mentioned earlier, it’s “Because We want To” by Billie Piper (geddit?). More people probably remember Billie more for her acting these days than for her time as a pop star. I loved her as Rose Tyler in Doctor Who, didn’t you? “Because We Want To” from 1998 was Billie’s first hit single and the first of her three UK number ones. It also made the top 10 in Ireland, Sweden and New Zealand. It was also the official song of the Women’s World Cup in 1999. That tournament was held in the USA and was won by the host nation who beat China on penalties after a nil nil draw. England sadly failed to qualify.

And finally another Billy Bonus with Laurel and Hardy dancing to Chairmen Of The Board’s “Shaggin’ The Night Away”

“Fleet Street looked everywhere and the Police did too” a.k.a 10 Lords a leaping December 22, 2012

As if I wasn’t struggling for space already my true love has now given me 10 lords a leaping. It was bad enough trying to keep the 9 ladies dancing still while I put them in storage yesterday, but these 10 Lords are even more feisty. Anyway you have probably worked out that it is now day 10 in my 12 days of Christmas series of posts; hence the 10 Lords a leaping. Unlike some of the earlier bird related gifts the Lords are not yet an endangered species, but given the movement for House Of Lords reform I’d like to think that they will be endangered in the future!

I have selected two Lord related songs for you today. Starting with the first ever solo number one by a member of the Beatles. It’s none other than the Quiet One, George Harrison with “My Sweet Lord” which made it to the top of the charts in 1971 in the UK, US, Canada, Austria, Switzerland and Norway to name but a few. It returned to the number one spot in the UK in 2002 following the George’s death two months earlier. The song comes from what in my opinion is one of the best albums released in the 70s, ‘All Things Must Pass’. Too much has been written about the ridiculous plagiarism that was brought against Harrison over his songs apparent similarity to the Chiffons “He’s So Fine” so I’ll say no more on that.

But what I find interesting is the stories and rumours about who may have played on the recording of the song. some of those stories include; Ringo Starr on tambourine, John Lennon on rhythm guitar, all four members of Badfinger taking part along with Gary Wright and some rhythm guitar parts overdubbed by Peter Frampton later. Harrison originally worked up the song with Billy Preston as part of a wish to write a gospel song. At one stage Harrison allegedly wanted to give the song to the famous gospel group the Edwin Hawkins Singers.

The song has been covered in the studio or in live performance by quite a diverse group of artists including; Richie Havens, Andy Williams, John Holt, Edwin Starr, Peggy Lee, Johnny Mathis, Julio Iglesias, Boy George, Osibisa, Nina Hagen and Jose Feliciano. There was also a somewhat cheeky “My Sweet Lord” cover released in 1975 by the Chiffons. Perhaps George should have sued them for that!

The second song choice today is “Lord Lucan Is Missing” from one of my favourite acts of the 90s/ 00s, Black Box Recorder. The band never really set the charts alight, but they have always been a great live attraction, Sadly I have so far never seen them live. The studio nucleus of the band is Sarah Nixey, Luke Haines formerly of the Auteurs and John Moores once a member of the Jesus and Mary Chain. The song featured on the bands first album, ‘England Made Me’ from 1998. That album also contained a couple of great cover versions too; “Up Town Top Ranking” (Althea and Donna) and “Seasons In The Sun” (Terry Jacks).

Since his disappearance in 1974 Lord Lucan has allegedly been sighted in every corner of the globe, none of these have so far proved to be real but included; France, Goa, New Zealand, South Africa, Namibia and Colombia. Lord Lucan, or to give him his full name and title, Richard John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan, would have just turned 78 if he is still alive. Personally I think he is probably long dead. What do you think?

Blimey Freddie Mercury looks a bit grumpy doesn’t he?

“But I am strong I can use my tears to bring you home” a.k.a. 8 Maids a milking December 20, 2012

My true love has given me quite a few things so far to help me celebrate the 12 days of Christmas. I’m not quite sure what to do with todays gift of 8 maids a milking; any suggestions? In reality though the milk maid was replaced by industrial milking machines many years ago. Back in 1995 there were 35,741 dairy farmers in the UK, in 2011 there were only 14,793. Surely we are consuming at least as much milk as in 1995 though, aren’t we? Maybe these farmers just own bigger farms and dairy herds these days. I have a tenuous connection to the UK dairy industry as my Dad was a milkman for nearly 30 years. I worked as his milk boy from 1970 to 1975. As for todays songs, well let’s just say I am very satisfied indeed with my choices. Firstly I bring you a classic from what is in my opinion an unsung band, the marvellous Be Bop Deluxe with “Maid In Heaven”. The song featured on the bands ‘Futurama’ album from 1975. It was later used as the lead track on the Hot Valves EP and under that guise it reached number 36 in the UK singles chart. The band was formed in 1972 in Wakefield,  Yorkshire and the only constant member was leader and guitar hero Bill Nelson. It was Nelson that wrote “Maid In Heaven”. Paul Jeffreys was the bands bass player for a short time in the mid 70s. He also played with Cockney Rebel, the Warm Jets and the Electric Eels. He sadly lost his life aged just 36 as a passenger on Pan Am flight 103 which was brought down over Lockerbie in Scotland in 1988. Today’s second song comes from what I would consider to be another unsung band, although they did shine quite brightly from 1995 to the early ‘noughties’. Butch Vig, producer of the seminal Nirvana album ‘Nevermind’ was trying to put a band together during 1994 and decided that he would like to try things with a female vocalist. He and his friend Duke Erikson were shown a video of Shirley Manson singing with Angelfish and decided that she might be perfect for the band that became Garbage. I believe they were very much correct. The track I have selected is, rather obviously, “Milk” from the bands eponymously titled début album from 1995. (Hmmmmm, 1995 eh? Did Garbage precipitate the demise of the UK Dairy industry?) It was the fifth single to be released from that album, following “Vow”, “Only Happy When It Rains”, “Queer” and “Stupid Girl”. The album made it to number 6 in the UK and number 20 in the US, it did make it to the top of the chart in New Zealand though. The single of the song reached number 10 in the UK in late 1996 but failed to make the top 100 in the USA. It wasn’t the bands highest UK chart placing, they had five other top 10 hits. It did marginally climb higher than their James Bond theme song ”The World Is Not Enough” from 1999, which stalled at number 11. The song is Shirley Manson’s favourite from the album and was written by Shirley, Butch Vig, Duke Erikson and Steve Marker. Some versions of the song feature some vocals from UK trip hop maestro Tricky. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P99KwIZlsVY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALuZRsFaXas

“Take a black cat and sit it on your shoulder and in the morning you’ll know all you know” a.k.a 7 swans a swimming December 19, 2012

Seven swans a swimming, I’ve been looking forward to this part of my 12 days of Christmas posts as it features two of my favourite songs. Incidentally did you know that the mute swan which is native to the UK has doubled it’s population since 1983? Maybe it’s the royal protection they are afforded which saw to that.

Ride A White Skateboard anyone?

Anyway on to the first of todays songs and this one was an obvious choice. It is “Ride A White Swan” from T. Rex and it is only the second signal released under the shortened name after the band used to be known as Tyrannosaurus Rex. It is also the song that helped kick off what became known as Glam Rock and the screaming adulation given to Bolan in what became known as Trextasy. The song was released in late 1970 and didn’t reach its highest UK chart position of number two until January 1971. It was produced by Tony Visconti as were many of the bands biggest hits. It was released as a maxi single. So named as it featured three and not the customary two tracks. The other tracks were “Is It Love” and a rather interesting cover of Eddie Cochran‘s “Summertime Blues”. “Ride A White Swan” kicked off a run of 10 consecutive UK top 5 hits for the band which lasted from 1971 to 1973 and included four number ones. The song could only manage a very lowly number 76 in the US chart.

The second choice for today was an obvious one for me, but do you know why it’s here? It is the stupendous “Badge” from Cream. The band was effectively an early supergroup featuring Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce. Interestingly it wasn’t Clapton that played guitar on this track, it was George Harrison. This was a favour in return for Clapton providing guitar on the Beatles track “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”. It was written by Clapton and Harrison and featured on Cream’s final album ‘Goodbye’. It made number 18 in the UK charts in 1969 and only reached number 60 in the US. Apparently it was a drunk Ringo Starr that gave the pair the line in the song which secured its inclusion in today’s post. Do you know what that line is yet? For contractual reasons George Harrison was listed under a pseudonym in terms of the playing personnel. That name was L’Angelo Misterioso.

“There were promises made, Plans firmly laid, Now madness prevails, Lies fill the air” a.k.a six geese a laying December 18, 2012

It’s day six of my Christmas posts this year and that means it’s the turn of those six geese a laying. Now I must confess that no goose or geese songs sprang immediately to mind when I was doing the initial research for my 12 days of Christmas series of posts. However I have been able to find a couple of good songs for you. But before those songs how are our geese doing these days? Well the greylag which I’m told is the ancestor of most of our current domestic geese has quite a healthy population as does the pink-footed goose. . However the white-fronted goose, which visits the UK in winter has a shrinking population. I guess that means we’ll probably stick with the traditional roast turkey and not goose this year!

So on to those two goose related songs. Firstly it’s “Grey Goose” by Sweet Honey In The Rock. This group is all female, African-American and they sing a capella. They take their name from the bible, Psalm 81:16, which mentions a sweet, nurturing substance and the strength of rock. They have received several Grammy nominations since they formed nearly 40 years ago. They won a Grammy for the song I have chosen, which was originally by Leadbelly. The group also take a professional sign language interpreter on tour with them. Their vocals have also featured on Sesame Street.

The second of my goose related songs comes from Joan Armatrading, it’s called “The Flight Of The Wild Geese“. It was written for the 1978 film ‘The Wild Geese’ and can be heard on the opening and closing credits. The film starred Richard Burton, Roger Moore and Richard Harris. Joan has always been a great supporter of her fellow musicians and on her Starlight tour earlier this year the opening act was different at each of the 56 dates. Each gig had a local singer songwriter open the show. Some of the songs from those artists were later released on a compilation album on Joan’s Hypertension label. She also provided vocals on Queen’s ‘A Kind Of Magic’ album on the track “Don’t Lose Your Head”

“I wait in the darkness of my lonely room, filled with sadness, filled with gloom” a.k.a five gold rings December 17, 2012

It’s now day 5 of my 12 days of Christmas series and that can only mean one thing right? Well five things actually and all of those are gold rings. Yes, on the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me five gold rings. Go on admit it you sang that line in your head just like it goes in the tune didn’t you? Had you bought your five gold rings in 1970 they would now be worth considerably more. In December 1970 gold was valued at £15.64 an ounce, earlier this month its value was £1,060.95 an ounce. Some interpretations of the 12 days of Christmas suggest that the gold rings are in fact goldspinks which as old name for a goldfinch. However I have based my choice of songs on the gold rings and I have two great songs for you.

Firstly we go to the King, kind of appropriate for Christmas don’t you think? Yes it’s Elvis Aaron Presley with “Wear My Ring (Around Your Neck)”. The song was written by Bert Carroll and Russell Moody and was released in 1958. Up to that point Elvis had achieved a string of ten consecutive number ones on the Billboard Hot 100, but this song stalled at number two. It made it to number three in the UK. Did you know that Elvis’ father Vernon’s middle name was Elvis or that his mother Gladys’ middle name was Love? You didn’t? Well you do now. It has been said that Elvis once entered an Elvis lookalike contest and only came third. However whilst this is a great story that is probably all it is. It was an item printed in the Weekly World News which is about as reliable in the truth department as the National Enquirer or perhaps the Sunday Sport in the UK.

The second of this posts songs is the soul classic “Band Of Gold” by Freda Payne. It was a million seller in 1970 where it reached number one in the UK but only number three in the US. It was also her biggest hit on both sides of the Atlantic. It was released on the Invictus label which had been set up by the Holland Dozier Holland team after they left Motown. “Band Of Gold” was written by Edythe Wayne and Ron Dunbar but it was produced by Brian Holland and Lamont Dozier. The lead guitar on the song comes from Ray Parker Jr and two former Motown backing vocalists provided vocal backing for Freda. Those backing vocalists were Joyce Vincent Wilson and Telma Hopkins, both later went on to join Tony Orland as part of Tony Orlando and Dawn. Did you know that Freda’s sister Scherrie was a member of the post Diana Ross Supremes for a while? When I began as a mobile DJ back in the 70s some of the advice I received from an old sage of a DJ was to never play this song at a wedding reception as it is all about break up. That’s true but hell it’s a great dance track isn’t it. So I must confess to the world that I have indeed played the song at wedding receptions.

Two Goldfinches, the whereabouts of the other three are currently unknown!

“You were only waiting for this moment to arise” a.k.a Four Colly Birds December 16, 2012

So now we’re on to the fourth day, when my true love gave me four Colly Birds. These are in fact Blackbirds. After a 15% fall in the Blackbird population since 1970 their numbers seem to be on the rise again. So what two songs do I have for you to represent the Blackbird? Well I have two great but very different songs for you.

Firstly it’s an early jazz funk track from the Blackbyrds, the sublime “Walking In Rhythm”. The name of the band was partly drawn from the surname of trumpet player Donald Byrd. The song was produced by Mr Byrd himself. This song was a million seller in 1975 and was also nominated for a Grammy. It made number 6 on the Billboard Hot 100 and sadly just a lowly number 23 in the UK.

The second song was an easy choice, it had to be the Beatles with “Blackbird”. It is featured on the Fab Four’s 1968 double album entitled ‘The Beatles’ but is known by most people as ‘The White Album’. As with most of their songs it was credited to Lennon – McCartney but was composed by Paul McCartney. Sir Paul has said that the guitar part was inspired by J.S Bach‘s “Bourree In E Minor” and the song itself was written in response to the Civil Rights movement in the 1960s. The Dandy Warhols once said that when Michael Jackson died they would cover “Blackbird”. They did make good on that promise too!

“Form a string quartet and pretend your name is Keith” a.k.a Three French Hens December 15, 2012

So after my Partridge and pears post and yesterdays turtle Doves post can I assume that you’re now with the programme and you know what’s coming next in my 12 days of Christmas series? That’s good then, so now let’s chat about the three French Hens that my true love gave to me on the third day of Christmas shall we?

There are quite a few songs that I could have chosen and I have opted for two which I hope you will enjoy. Although if you wish to submit your own then feel free. So up first is the now rather twee spin-off from the excellent 80s/ 90s TV show ‘Spitting Image‘. yep it’s the one and only “Chicken Song”. I long for the return of ‘Spitting Image’ the politicians and celebrities these days really lend themselves to it don’t you think? The original puppets were created by Peter Fluck and Roger Law a.k.a Fluck and Law, frankly you couldn’t make up a better name could you?

The song was produced by Philip Pope and written by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor. It was seen as a parody of any number of Costa Del Booze holiday songs like “Agadoo”. “The Chicken Song” was number one in the UK for three weeks in 1986. It also reached the summit in Ireland. The B side of the single was another Spitting Image classic; “(I’ve Never Met A Nice) South African)”.

For my second French Hens song I have gone back a little further in time to 1969 for the wonderful “Do The Funky Chicken” from the late, great Rufus Thomas. One of the last big gigs from Rufus came in 1996 at the Atlanta Olympics when he appeared with another soul legend, William Bell. After Rufus died in 2001 a street just off Beale Street in Memphis was named after him. He had also recorded for Sam Phillips‘ Sun label before Elvis. On top of that his daughter Carla was another hit maker from the Thomas family. Rufus had quite a few animal and bird related songs; “Bear Cat” (1953), “The Dog”, “Walking The Dog” (1963), “Can Your Monkey Do The Dog” (1964), “Chicken Scratch” (1965), “The Preacher And The Bear” (1970), “Do The Funky Penguin” (1972) and “the Funky Bird” (1973).

And finally a Billy Bonus, some instructions showing you how to do the “Funky Chicken”.

“Take time for your pleasure and laugh with love” a.k.a. Two Turtle Doves December 14, 2012

I hope that after yesterdays Partridge and pears post you’re getting the hang of this. If you are then you’ll know that on the 2nd day of Christmas it was the turn of two turtle doves. The Turtle Dove in the UK is facing a bleak future. It is now believed there are only around 14,000 pairs left, which makes up a fall in population of 60% over five years. Anyway enough of the ecology for now and on with the music.

I have selected two dove related songs for your aural pleasure today. The first of those is from the purple pain himself, Prince a.k.a. TAFKAP (The Artist Formerly Known As Prince), Christopher and Symbol among other things. Incidentally I wonder if I might rename him TAFKADS (The Artist Formerly Known As Dove Soap) for this post. I’m sure you can guess which one of his songs I have selected can’t you? Yes it’s the classic 80s hit “When Doves Cry”. It was the first single to be taken from the timeless classic album ‘Purple Rain’. It was the last track on the album to be completed and not only did Prince write the song, he also played every instrument on it. Except of course the bass. Who played bass I hear you ask? Well actually it was no one, the song has no bass line in it. The song has been covered by may artists, including Razorlight, Patti Smith, Damien Rice and the Be Good Tanyas.

Prince vowed never to let Edward Scissorhands cut his hair again

It was also heavily sampled by MC Hammer on his song “Pray” from 1990. “When Doves Cry” was Prince’s first US number one single and remained at the top of the pile for 5 weeks in 1984. It also reached the top in Australia and Canada and sat at number two in Ireland and New Zealand. It reached only a relatively lowly number four in the UK. This was bettered by 1994′s “The Most Beautiful Girl In The World” a UK number one. In addition “1999″, “Little Red Corvette” and “Batdance” hit the number two position in 1982, 1983 and 1989 respectively. “Gett Off” and “Cream” both made number three in 1991.

The second dove related song on today’s post is from those North London Nutty Boys, Madness and it is “Wings Of A Dove”. Surprisingly, for me at least, it remains the band’s second biggest UK chart hit; it reached number two in 1983. It did reach the top of the charts in Ireland though. Their only UK number one was “House Of Fun” from 1982. It was a non album single written by Suggs and Chas Smash. The single also featured steel drums from the  Creighton Steel Sounds and a gospel choir from the First Born Inspirational Church of the Living God. It was also used in the film ’10 Things I Hate About You’ in 1999.