Fascinating Aida – Grand Opera House, York – Wednesday 14th November 2012 November 18, 2012

Last Wednesday I went to see an act that has been around for thirty years. I had been conscious of them but never really aware of what they were. My interest was raised when my good friend John Williams (not the composer or the classical guitarist but a better bloke altogether) sent me a clip of this act from YouTube. I came close to wetting myself while watching it. The act was Fascinating Aida and that clip was for their excellent take on budget airlines “Cheap Flights“. If you have never seen them live or on-line the best way I could describe them would be a satirical, singing cabaret ensemble who are also bloody hilarious!

They kicked off their show with a superb song attacking the banking and big business fraternity which made an excellent acronym from their ‘Companies Using Nifty Taxation Schemes’ I’ll let you guess the actual acronym. They included their biggest internet hits; the aforementioned “Cheap Flights” and the not to be missed “Dogging”. You don’t know what dogging is? I suggest you ask your parents or maybe Stan Collymore.

The group managed to take a dig at so many people in such a short space of time including Tom Cruise, Pamela Anderson, U2, the Germans and many politicians to but a few. In fact their Belgian Song Cycle (at least I think that is what it was called) contained many of these put downs. As a result of that song cycle I will never be able to look at Cheryl Cole again without thinking ladyboy!

Their show is also very topical and referred amusingly to the austerity protests in Europe earlier in the week. These are three very talented women who I would like to thank very much for a hilarious evening out with Catwoman, Caron and John. So Dillie, Adele and Liza we loved your show and we would be delighted to see you again sometime. I would also advise any of my readers who have never seen Fascinating Aida on-line or in concert to check them out immediately!

“Got no self-esteem and vertigo” September 21, 2012

Robbie is in the news a lot lately isn’t he? Many of you know that I really don’t have much time for Mr Williams from Stoke. That will probably always stay true. However I would like to congratulate him on becoming a Dad and to wish him, his wife and little Theodora all the best. I am also really concerned that I really like his new song “Candy” which he co-wrote with Gary Barlow. I think I must be getting ill, there is no other explanation about why I would like this Robbie song surely. It is a bit of an earworm though.

But to counter all that Robbie has been doing the promo rounds for the new single and forthcoming album. On one breakfast TV appearance in the UK he apparently suggested that he would like a knighthood. I can only assume that this desire follows Gary Barlow’s recent royal award and promotion to national treasure. Will Robbie ever get that knighthood? probably! Will he ever be a proper national treasure? With Gary Barlow and Cheryl Cole are already in the role I seriously doubt it! What do you think?

And finally for the record I haven’t mellowed too much because I still believe that “Angels” ranks among one of the worst songs ever released!

“I’ve seen all the frowns on the faces of the clowns” August 5, 2012

 

Regular readers will have noticed quite a few sports related posts on this blog recently, largely related to the London Olympics of course. However this is also a sports related post, but it doesn’t relate to the Olympics. I took part in the York 10 k Jane Tomlinson race this morning. Well I say race, but for me it was just a personal challenge. Many years ago I was doing two half marathons a year, many with my good friend Al Sloman. I also ran the 1986 London Marathon with Al, who is a blind runner. My last half marathon was in Wycombe in 1995 and I have now completed the York 10k three times. I did the Leeds 10k and Hull 10k last year too. Having done far less training than I had hoped and being somewhat porky at the moment I set myself a target of between 80 and 90 minutes. I was incredibly pleased to have finished with an official time of just over 68 minutes and I didn’t walk any of it! I also have a nice red t-shirt and a medal sponsored by the UK arm of Wal-Mart; Asda.

Howard Webb dresses for charity for the York 10K (or perhaps not!)

Clearly my performance wouldn’t have brought me even close to Mo Farah, but then I am considerably older than him! He probably had a better build up too. I arrived at the start at 8.20 (for a 9.00 start) with Catwoman, who was my chauffeur, coach and supporter for the day. I have a bladder that is smaller than a gnat’s eyeball so obviously I needed to empty it. The queue for the chemical portaloos was immense, but having joined it I wasn’t budging. So I was actually in full bladder emptying mode when the race started. But given I was always going to start with the less fast runners I still had plenty of time to join the slow pack. It took me 12 minutes from the starting whistle to cross the start line. Why was it a whistle and not a pistol? Well it was started by world-class football referee Howard Webb.

As is the norm the “Theme From Chariots Of Fire” was played before the race along with the British national anthem. Music can be inspirational so just how disappointed do you think I was when the PA was blasting out Cheryl Cole‘s “Fight For This Love” when I eventually crossed the start line. To make matters even worse that same slice of Cheryl’s special brand of crap pop was playing again! So as this is a music blog I will spare you anything by Cheryl and let you enjoy a few of running related songs and a song about Cheryl Cole née Tweedy.

 

“Yet there’s still this appeal that we’ve kept through our lives” June 24, 2012

Many of you will already know that the NME celebrates its 60th birthday this year. It was first published in March of 1952, it was later that year that it also published the first ever UK singles chart based on sales. That was in November 1952 and featured Al Martino‘s “Here In My Heart” at number one.

As part of their birthday celebrations the NME has published a list of the top 100 songs since the paper has been around. I’m sure that there will be plenty of debate about what is in and what isn’t in the list. I was particularly surprised that there are no songs from the 50′s included. How about Elvis Presley’s “Heartbreak Hotel” that was pretty damned ground breaking. Incidentally the spread of songs from the other periods are;

60s = 22

70s = 16

80s = 19

90s = 19

00s/ 10s = 24

Why not cast your vote in my favourite decade poll below

My favourite song of all time; Bob Marley’s “No Woman No Cry” reaches number 86 and Mr Bowie has “Space Oddity” at number 39 and another song in the top 5 (more of that one later). The Beatles have three entries in the top 100. Thankfully Westlife, Cheryl Cole and their ilk are nowhere to be seen in this list.

So without further ado and in traditional reverse order here is the top 5;

5 “Blue Monday” – New Order

4 “Good Vibrations” – Beach Boys

3 “”Heroes”" – David Bowie

2 “Common People” – Pulp

1 “Love Will Tear Us Apart” – Joy Division

If you’re interested click here to find the top 50 (I haven’t been able to find a site that shows the whole 100)

“So I got my cappuccino to go and I’m heading for the hills again” March 4, 2012

Girls Aloud will be reforming for a tour in 2013, to celebrate their 10th anniversary. Reforming? I wasn’t aware that they had broken up. I can’t say I am particularly excited by the prospect of the girls treading the boards again, are you? Well at least it is moderately better than those talentless morons Westlife. Clearly none of the girls off of Girls Aloud have set the world alight with their solo careers, so I think we can assume the ‘reunion’ is for money.

Nadine Coyle broke the news a couple of days ago. I suppose it will enable the nation’s sweetheart Cheryl to restart her career after the atrocious output from her solo albums and the X Factor US judging debacle. Hopefully Sarah Harding will be out of rehab too. Personally I reckon Nicola Roberts should stay away. Her first solo album was excellent, surely she doesn’t need the rest of them. So what do you think of the Girls Aloud reunion?

The girls as they might appear on their 40th anniversary tour.

“250,000 Miles On A Clear Night In June” June 27, 2011

Just a few random things heading your way for this post. Let’s start with the sale of an iconic item of Michael Jackson’s clothing, it’s the jacket that he wore in the “Thriller” video. It sold recently for £1.1m in an auction in Beverley Hills. It was bought by an US Commodities Trader who plans to use it to raise money for children’s charities. Given the many allegations made against Jacko the use of his old clothes in that way does seem somewhat appropriate, doesn’t it? Click here to read the story on the BBC.

Lady Gaga is being sued in the USA for allegedly pocketing far more money than is appropriate in the sale of her Japan Earthquake Relief wristbands. The lawsuit, in which she is being sued for more than £3m, alleges that the wristbands are sold for $5 each and include shipping and tax costs meaning less than 10% would reach its beneficiaries. But obviously we don’t know how much of the detail Gaga herself is aware of, so watch this space and click here to read the story on the NME site.

Madonna will soon feature in a comic in the US. It will be in Bluewater Productions ‘Female Force’ series of comics. It’s hardly Batman or the Fantastic Four is it? Even more so when you consider that some of the other women to have featured to date are; Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin and Margaret Thatcher. I suppose that the latter two could almost pass as super villains though. Even though I have a large collection of comics I think it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be buying the Amazing Adventures Of Madge.

To coincide with the release of the new Muppets movie later this year a number of rock acts have recorded cover versions of many Muppet numbers. Amy Lee off of Evanescence has  recorded one of my favourite Muppet songs, “Halfway Down The Stairs” originally sung by Kermit’s nephew Robin. Weezer and Hayley Williams off of Paramore have covered “Rainbow Connection”. Other artists recording songs for the album are; Alkaline Trio, My Morning Jacket, Airborne Toxic Event and OK Go.

It's a tragedy that Gaga has not been allowed to record a Muppet song, especially after she murdered so many of Kermit's relatives to make her dress.

Did you see any of the Glasto coverage? I thought the BBC did a great job with it, although I didn’t see the Wombles anywhere! As for the headliners; I thought U2 were ok, Coldplay were bloody good and Beyoncé was truly amazing. She even managed to cover Eurythmics, Alanis Morrisette, Prince and the Kings Of Leon. despite the rumours that her man Jay Z would join her on stage, he didn’t, but she did a rather interesting duet with Tricky. My main thought as I watched her was how little talent the likes of Cheryl Cole actually have.

I’m loving the new Eminem video for “Space Bound”, what do you think of it? It does contain the usual element of controversy from Mr Mathers. This time gun related. But I really believe the man is on top form.

Gaga just get's everywhere doesn't she?

And finally would you like your girlfriend, wife or partner to wear knickers with a picture of Thom Yorke on them? personally I wouldn’t, but if you’re that way inclined you can actually buy them. Has anyone reading this purchased any of them? Click here to see for yourself.

“Now hold on a minute before we go much further, give me a dime so I can phone my mother” April 17, 2011

Dizzee enjoyed dressing as an 18th Century poet whilst promenading with a powerful female. Thatcher hasnt aged well has she?

Hello people, I have some assorted bits of music related news for you in todays post. Some old, some new and some strange. Beginning with Dizzee Rascal, who according to the UK tabloid press has an addiction. But not to drugs, drink, sex or gambling, but to 18th century poets. He is very much into his Wordsworth, Byron, Blake and Keats. Mr Rascal, formerly known as Dylan Mills, is hoping that classical English poetry will have an influence on his next album. Sounds interesting doesn’t it? Read about it here in the soaraway Sun and be careful your phone isn’t tapped!

Simon makes one last appearance on Page Three before he departs for the USA

Most of you probably know that Simon Cowell will be leaving the UK version of X Factor to launch and take part in the US version. It still seems most likely that he will take Cheryl Cole with him, providing the Americans can understand her one assumes. My only wish is that the opportunity is taken to get rid of Louis Walsh. What do you think and also who would your ideal fantasy X Factor judging panel consist of? My vote would be Lily Allen, Keith Richards, Jeremy Paxman and Nick Clegg. The latter choice is largely because there should always be one idiot on the panel and surely he will be out of a job soon won’t he?

Clearly Liam was buzzing about the new Beady Eye Bee Side

You’ve probably all heard of the post Oasis band Beady Eye, which is basically Oasis without Noel. I have listened to their album and it’s not bad, it’s hardly ‘Definitely Maybe’  or ‘Morning Glory’ but it’s ok. Anyway this isn’t a review but a rather strange piece of news about Liam Gallagher. According to a report in the NME (click here to read it) he likes to warm up before he goes on stage by listening to Rod Stewart’s “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”, let’s pray he doesn’t do a cover version of it! What song do you use to get pumped up before work? For me it’s often “Complete Control” by the Clash or “Do Anything You Wanna Do” by the Rods.

Billie Joe auditions for a part in the new version of Snow White

Tom Hanks is currently preparing to produce a film adaptation of Green Day’s ‘American Idiot’ album. The director is likely to be Michael Mayer who was the director for the ‘American Idiot’ Broadway musical. Could this be this generation’s ‘Tommy’? Only time will tell. Click here to read the NME report. What album would you like to see turned into a film? I would definitely vote for David Bowie’s ‘Diamond Dogs’

And finally how small do you think the world’s smallest working guitar actually is? Well you’re probably wrong. It is in fact no bigger than a human blood cell and obviously impossible to be played in a conventional way. It has to be played by having lasers directed at the strings. Read more about the Nano Guitar in the Guardian by clicking here.

“They think they’ll get to heaven through the universe” – Brit Awards 2011 February 15, 2011

So this years Brits have undergone yet another revamp and moved to the O2 Arena as well. It is now designed to build up to a finale of the announcement of the Best British Album, with each nominee introducing their album in little vignettes throughout the show. I guess it’s based around the Oscars where the whole spectacle concludes with the Best Film Awards. Even the actual award has had a makeover too, thanks to Vivienne Westwood. With Viv involved it seems weird that the Brits effectively started at the height of punk and it was all black ties and very formal and Cliff Richard was the winner of Best British Male Vocalist, oh how times have changed, well mostly anyway.

The show was kicked off by Take That with “Kidz”. I hate to say it but even with Robbie back in the ranks I quite like them. The performance was good and the boys were surrounded by riot police dancers who stripped at the end. Maybe there’s a lesson for the police the next time they are called out to student protests. But did anyone else think that a couple of the ‘That were wearing incontinence pants?

Hosted by James Corden, personally I’m not sure about that choice I have never really found him either funny or exciting. First award was for Best British Male presented by Dizzee Rascal, last years winner, to Plan B. Now that was a good choice, the ‘Defamation Of Strickland Banks’ is a killer album.

Another live performance came next, it was the abundantly talented Adele, boy that girl has got a superb voice. She sang “Someone Like You” accompanied just by a pianist. It’s hard to believe that she is so young. Now that’s what you call real singing, are you listening Cheryl Cole? It was a brilliant example of how talented a lone singer can be, but did they have to shower her with all that silver snow/ confetti?

Now that interlude of James Corden speaking to Justin Bieber was weird. James telling Justin how wonderful he smelled. Is that grooming? (Yes I know you could read that two ways!) It was left to Fearne Cotton presenting the Best British Breakthrough Artist award to take that awful scene out of my mind. The winner was Tinie Tempah, apparently Prince Harry and Prince William are fans!

International Album was presented by none other than German Musical Superstar………..errrr Boris Becker. Anyone for Tennis? It was justly won by Arcade Fire with ‘The Suburbs’. They gave a fantastic name check to British acts; Clash, Bowie, Culture Club, New Order, Depeche Mode.

And now we have Rihanna who started her medley set from behind what could have been a giant shower curtain or giant grass skirt. The hair matched the dress, but did the collar match the cuffs? We came close to finding out as she removed the dress pretty damned quickly! Maybe not everything but the kitchen sink, but Burundi style drummers and wait……. was that the Olympic flame? Oh and another thing, now that’s what you call real dancing, are you watching Cheryl Cole?

Mark Ronson was there to present the Critics Choice Award, was he dressed like an Accountant or was it just me? I don’t mean that I was dressed like an Accountant, obviously! Don’t you think his hair was like a ski slope? Well even more obviously no surprise that the winner was Jessie J, as this was one of the awards that was announced some while in advance of the ceremony itself. The fourth woman to win that award and she didn’t blub….. but only just!

One of the nominees for best album were the next band on stage, it was Mumford And Sons. It’s no wonder they’re so big in America is it? They look like hicks and hillbillies; mind you they were bloody good at the Reading Festival last year. Who wears cowboy hats or truckers caps in this country, which just puts my flat cap to shame really!

To present the International Male Award we had yet another musical superstar; Lewis Hamilton…..errrr how many albums has he had then? The award gave Cee Lo Green his first ever Brit. Now that’s a big “Fuck You” to all the previous voters, they won’t “Forget You” next time Cee Lo. A brilliant choice in my opinion. He gave a great shout to Boy George too. Nice to see all the Johnny Foreigners thanking the Brits this time around. I’m not xenophobic ok, I’m just an archetypal arrogant Brit! Well actually I’m not really, I am a Brit but I don’t think I’m arrogant or even archetypal, although I’m sure some might disagree!

What was the Best British Single then, it was presented by Alan Carr, is it me or does his voice really grate on you? It was also voted for by fans, so that should mean a good choice right? Well it was a good choice, it was Tinie Tempah with “Pass Out” It could have been so much worse with all those X Factor related nominees.

What the F*ck am I doing here?

Two blokes off of Duran Duran presented the Best International Group award to the magnificent Arcade Fire. What can one say? Flipping heck another good choice, this revamp has done wonders for giving the right people the awards too.

Plan B was the next live performer. Show stopping set and dancing, a tight band. It was like a modern version of the old Motown or Stax Revues. Were those Police left over from the Take That performance? Of course they were, the Riot Squad were there again. It’s one thing infiltrating eco-activists, but this level of police intrusion is so far beyond subtle it’s off the bloody scale! What about the dude that was set aflame? Was that a tribute to the recently deceased Johnny Storm aka the Human Torch off of the Fantastic Four? Check out issue number 587 of the World’s Greatest Comic magazine for more info on that one people!

Avril Lavigne and Will Young combined to present the next award, now that is a novel but strange pairing. It was International Breakthrough Act and was won by Justin Bieber, well I suppose it couldn’t all go my way could it. Still at least it wasn’t the Glee Cast was it? Still the boy done good bearing in mind he is not quite seventeen yet.

Best British Female Solo award was present by Georg O’Dowd aka Boy George, isn’t it about time he upgraded to Man George? Deservedly won by the beautiful talent that is Laura Marling. She was followed by a brilliant performance from Arcade Fire with “Ready To Start”. Are these guys one of the best bands on the planet right now? I think so and it always looks like they’re really enjoying themselves too.

Now that’s what I call presenting an award, are you watching Cheryl Cole? Ooops no you’re not, you’re actually presenting the damned thing for Best International Female. It went to Cheryl’s ‘Girl Crush’ (hmmmm interesting in a pervy kind of way); Rihanna in a big white dress with roses….. they grow on you!

Tinie Tempah took to the stage next and frankly he did it like he owned the thing. Great performance and bloody good laser show to boot. The stage was full of Tinie lookalikes, how about a spoofed version of Eminem, anyone for ‘The Real Tinie Tempah’? This dude is a really top bloke in my humble opinion. Move over Mr Rascal and make way for Mr Tempah. Are the organisers of the Reading Festival watching? How about Tinie Tempah on the afternoon bill on the Main Stage Saturday or Sunday, it’s worked well for Dizzee before hasn’t it?

Dermot O’Leary off of the X Factor (amongst Others) no less was on hand to present the Award for Best British Group. It went to Take That. It pains me to say that with their current album I actually like some music that Robbie is involved in. I must be ill in the head. Robbie was his usual nonsensical arse with just a couple of shouts of ‘Shabba’ thankfully leaving the other boys to do most of the talking and thanking.

So then came the grand finale the Best British Album Award, presented by Rock God Roger Daltrey off of the Who. He said that he thought that Plan B’s set had made him reminisce of the early days of the Who,(was he serious?) but sadly the award didn’t go to him, it went to Mumford And Sons, still not a bad choice.

The show was closed by the mighty, magnificent Cee Lo Green with “Forget You”. A great tune but I kind of wish he had done the original ‘naughty’ version! A great singer none the less. So that is as they say it for this years Brits. I will be back with other posts before the 2012 Brits so feel free to keep reading my blog now that you’ve found you’re way here. I bet you’re relieved that I have got to the end of a whole post with no mention of Lady Gaga……….DOH!

The good, the bad and the untalented!

“Got to be a joker he just do what he please” December 27, 2010

Well I trust that you all had a good Christmas and that your turkey is all used up. Myself and Catwoman certainly ate too much as usual! Anyway I’m back with a couple of snippets of news for you.

Even Simon Cowell can't stand to listen to most contestants

Firstly I am saddened to report that the X Factor was the most watched show of 2010 on UK TV. Some 17.7 million viewers watched Matt Cardle crowned champion on the final show of the series whilst England versus Germany in the World Cup could only muster 17.4 million. But it would be fair to say that the England team showed as much talent as some of the no talent losers that populate the first few weeks of the X Factor. Eastenders and Coronation Street were 3rd and 4th. You can read the story here on the BBC. Matt Cardle has also managed to stay for a second week at the top of the UK charts. The top ten also features Rihanna, Black Eyed Peas, Take That and Katy Perry who have all had major guest slots on the show. Olly Murs, X Factor Finalists and JLS, all former contestants are in the top 40. In addition part-time X Factor judge Nicole Scherzinger has a top 40 place and there are two for X Factor judge and the Nations Sweetheart Cheryl Cole. So many places taken up by X Factor related stuff, how bad is that?

So onto some better news, the zebra crossing outside the Abbey Road studios which was featured on the cover of the Beatles Abbey Road album has been given listed status. This must be the most famous crossing in the world. How many of you have been there and had your picture taken on it? Send them to me and I’d be happy to post them on the blog! The BBC reports the story here. To celebrate listen to the Fab Four below with “Come Together” from that very album. Below that you can also see two other famous crossings, the Simpsons and the Red Hot Chili Peppers

“Waters runnin’ in the wrong direction, got a feelin’ its a mixed up sign” December 13, 2010

How the hell do they keep slim with all those calories????

Hello once again dear readers and we’re passed the halfway mark to Chrimbo on my UK Christmas Number One Advent Calendar. It’s December 13th and todays treat is the first of the reality TV Pop Idol/ X Factor songs to take the Christmas number one spot. It was number one in Christmas 2002 and was begotten by ‘PopStars: The Rivals’ That show formed a boy band and a girl band and then put them into a Christmas chart battle. The winner by a long way was Girls Aloud with “Sound Of The Underground”. Can anyone remember the name of the losing boy band? it was One True Voice and their single was a double A side with “Sacred Trust/ After You’re Gone”. The girls were number one for four weeks that Christmas.

The girls would do anything to get a part in the next Pirates Of The Caribbean movie, even walk the plank!

Personally I kind of like that first Girls Aloud single, it’s still my favourite of theirs. Remember this was back in the days before Cheryl Cole  was Cheryl Cole and before she became the Nation’s Sweetheart and launched her lip syncing solo career. Back then she was just plain (well some would say not so plain!) Cheryl Tweedy. It’s funny how the little altercation in a nightclub toilet from those days seems to have been airbrushed from Cheryl history isn’t it? Anyway check out Lily Allen’s “Cheryl Tweedy” here.

The judges for Popstars: The Rivals were Pete Waterman, Gerri Halliwell and Louis Walsh. Will someone please explain how such a dipstick as Louis has survived so long in the business? I really don’t get it. As for Girls Aloud, whether you love them or hate them you have to admit that they are one of the few reality TV acts with any degree of longevity. Cheryl has now released two solo albums whilst Nadine Coyle has just released her first. Kimberley Walsh, Nicola Roberts and Sarah Harding have all tried their hands at acting as well.

No airbrushing here is there!