With Just A Hint Of Mayhem

Music trivia, useless info, extra added random stuff and the odd rant from me

“The Clash, just a band” June 29, 2010


I'm not sure if that sign is a statement or an instruction

Today I had the iPod on shuffle and up popped the wonderfully talented Scroobius Pip aided and abetted by Dan Le Sac. I am a big fan of  Messrs Pip and Sac. The song in question was “Thou Shalt Always Kill” It got me thinking that a post addressing all the Pip commandments might be quite fun. So firstly apologies to Dave Gorman who once did a live show which analysed all the parts of Ian Dury’s “Reasons To Be Cheerful Part 3”, indeed Catwoman actually saw it (and to be fair he probably did it far, far better than I am about to with Pip and Sac). So on with the song!

Thou Shalt Always Kill – Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip

(Feat. Pos Plug Won)


Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim;
I totally agree with this one, so I guess this makes it ok to steal from banks right? Maybe some office stationery too

Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets; Who the hell would want to worship bloody pop idols anyway, that’d be like ‘All Hail Gareth Gates’ or more fitting with his current life maybe ‘Our Server who art in McDonalds’. As for the Lost Prophets they weren’t a bad band, ok they are Welsh, but that’s not their fault is it?

Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain; I totally agree, but  who the hell is Johnny Hartman?

Thou shalt not think that any male over 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile, some people are just nice; I am way over 30, I love kids and I’m not a paedo, so I guess that makes me nice, doesn’t it? Incidentally isn’t it strange that those awful swimming trunks are called Speedos? Phonetically just one letter away from Peedo.

Thou shalt not read NME;
Nope, can’t agree with this one at all, I’ve been reading NME since I was a young lad, from 1971 to be precise

Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they have become popular; How very true, people they are not YOUR band just because you liked them before 99% of the population. Tom, it is ok for you to continue to like the Kings Of Leon!

Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry; Yes, because Mr Fry has a brain the size of a planet and has more intellect in his belly button fluff than the collective intelligence of the England Football team

Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover; True, well unless it’s the Playboy Annual or something similar, equally any book with Robbie Williams on the front must, by definition, be rubbish!

Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover;
So that must mean you judge it by Mel Gibson, but I’m confused, does that make it better or worse?

Thou shalt not buy Coca Cola products;
Absolutely, all that sugar has to be bad for you. Mind you I do like the odd Coca Cola Christmas bauble, so that would be another Pip commandment I have broken

Thou shalt not buy nestle products; Well I can live with this, apart from the fact that my good friend Karen McP works there, but personally I prefer Cadburys anyway

Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend best friend,
take drugs and cheat on him; Well I am completely exempt from this as I don’t take drugs, oh and I don’t have a boyfriend either!

Thou shalt not fall in love so easily; That is easy to say but bloody difficult to do

Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls pants……use it to get into their heads; ok, just as long as I can be forgiven for my teenage years, where I confess I did use music in the former regard quite a lot and the latter regard quite a little. Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” always worked for me

Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks; Nor any Aussie soaps either in my opinion

Thou shalt not attend an open mic and then leave as soon as you have done your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick; Well I think that one speaks for itself really!

Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in & week out just because you once saw a girl there that you fancied that you’re never going to talk to anyway; Guilty as charged, but only in my teenage years and only a couple of times and on the second occasion I did get to speak to her, but she did make it very clear she wasn’t interested. Just rearrange these letters to understand what two-word phrase she used. kfcfuof, did you work it out?

Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were; I did this with David Bowie back in the 70s, but then he recorded in the 80s and that made me see the error of my ways

The Beatles.
Were just a band.
Led Zeppelin
Just a band.
The Beach Boys.
Just a band
Sex Pistols.
Just a band.
The Clash.
Just a band.
Crass.
Just a band
Minor Threat.
Just a band.
The Cure
Just a band.
The Smiths
Just a band.
Nirvana.
Just a band.
The Pixies
Just a band
Oasis.
Just a band
Radiohead.
Just a band.
Bloc Party.
Just a band.
Arctic Monkeys.
Just a band.
The next big thing
Just a band.
I can agree with almost all of the above, except for the Clash, these guys were way more than just a band to me

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries; Too true, how many times has the news reported an earthquake somewhere like Mexico and had it low down the running order because no British people were hurt?

Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling where never part of the four elements and never will be; I love rap, but this is sadly so very true

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music;
I suspect that this relates to dance music and the Government’s attack on the rave generation, but it could equally apply to the bland crap produced by almost anyone of Simon Cowell’s identikit pop muppets

Thou shalt not pimp my ride; But I assume that it is ok for me to pimp my man-bag though, right?

Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster; nor indeed listen to Geri Halliwell whilst in a sober state

Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness; well ok, but sometimes that is a really good feeling!

Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit; or any other city or town, but then again I am sure that later this year at Reading my good friend Nick H and me will make some noise for Reading

When I say “hey” thou shalt not say “ho”; Say Gabba Gabba instead, in honour of the Ramones

When I say “hip” thou shalt not say “hop”; Say replacement instead

When I say, he say, she say, we say “make some noise”…..kill me; ok then, seeing as you asked nicely

Thou shalt not quote me happy; or like the Go Compare advert

Thou shalt not shake it like a Polaroid picture; Well that’s how I dance bro’ – live with it!

Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me; my girlfriend is all the freak I need thank you very much

Thou shalt spell the word phoenix : P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X regardless of what the Oxford English dictionary tells you; Now as far as this one goes I really don’t care

Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Brad at the club last night by saying “is it?”; very true, the correct statement is ‘innit’ innit?

Thou shalt think for yourselves; I hope everyone does this already

And thou shalt ALWAYS kill. I certainly can’t agree with this, although Catwoman and I do tend to regularly kill all the plants in the back yard, usually by neglect

Let me have your thoughts on this terrific song 🙂

 

“I gave up something and I gave it up for nothing” June 28, 2010


I suppose it took quite a long while to sink in just how bad England were yesterday against Germany. Sure we can drone on endlessly about the ‘ghost’ goal and how things might have been different if we’d have gone in at half time at 2-all rather than 2-1 down. But let’s be honest England were woeful, that’s not to take anything away from Germany though, they really were first class. But FIFA ought to climb out of the dark ages and allow goal line technology. Are we paying the price for the failure of the FA to understand what strategy is? Are we failing because the FA have still failed to get the Centre Of Excellence in Burton off the ground. Or is this reaping the rewards of a rich and greedy premiership which covets foreign players more than homegrown talent?

OK lads, we've got the ball, now what do we do?

I don’t know the answers, but I do know that Terry and Upson looked like they barely knew each other, Johnson and Cashley seemed to forget that they are in fact defenders and Rooney disappeared. As for Capello I had a lot of sympathy for him during the tournament, that expired when in desperate need of a goal he put on that well-known goal scoring machine Emile Bloody Heskey! The only good word I have is for David James, without him the Germans could have made it look like a cricket score

Are you watching Mr Blatter?

So once again we are not champions of the world and it will be at least 8  to 12 years before we are even remotely in contention again. We didn’t even win the World Chumpions mantle, that surely went to France or Italy. I can only hope that this bunch of 23 millionaires feel the worst they have ever felt when they return to England tomorrow, obviously this will be before they jet off on some expensive holiday! Boys you have sullied the memory of the great Bobby Moore, just ponder that for a while.

As usual I have selected a few appropriate(ish) songs to fit this pathetic England performance

You Don’t Know (Fuck Off)” – Reel Big Fish – I know it’s not really called fuck off, but that is my sentiment towards the England players right now

Chump” – Green Day – Chump kind of says it all for me after that display

Got Give It Up” – Marvin Gaye – Surely some of these overpaid arseholes will now give it up

Failure” – Laura Marling – Another title that sums it up

The Lion Sleeps Tonight” – Tight Fit – In memory of England’s three lions, who all slept yesterday

 

“Keats and Yeats are on your side, a dreaded sunny day” June 26, 2010


Neil Gaiman is without doubt one of my favourite authors and I have read all his novels and short stories along with a number of the graphic novels he has worked on (including the Sandman stories). So I was very pleased to read that he has won the Cilip Carnegie Medal, a prestigious children’s fiction award, for his novel ‘The Graveyard Book’. I read it a few months back and for me it definitely ranks among his best efforts. You can buy it from Amazon, go on, you know you want to, you won’t be disappointed!

It is a story of an orphaned boy who is brought up by the ghosts who live in a graveyard, hence the book’s title. It took Neil more than 25 years to complete. I’m not sure if the film options have been bought yet but I reckon it would make a great movie. Coraline and Stardust were great adaptations of Gaiman books, although personally I’d love to see Neverwhere and American Gods, which is my favourite Gaiman novel, on the big screen. American Gods also recently won the 1 Book 1 Twitter vote, which is an attempt to get everyone on Twitter reading the same book at the same time.

He also wrote the supremely funny Good Omens with Terry Pratchett. He is also a good friend of Tori Amos and the pair have often referenced each other in both song and print.

You can read the news of Neil Gaiman winning the award here on the beeb. Also click here to visit Neil’s excellent website

Neil is advised not to drink the water, by someone who clearly has!

Tori Amos included a Neil reference in her song “Tear In Your Hand” with the line  – ‘me and Neil’ll be hangin’ out with the Dream King, Neil says hi by the way’. The Dream King is a character from the Sandman series

I would like to finish this post with a couple of loosely relevant songs from Michael Jackson (“Ghosts”) and the Smiths (“Cemetery Gates”) respectively, enjoy! Coincidentally the script to the Jack short film ‘Ghosts’ was actually written by another of my favourite authors, Stephen King.

 

“Cartoon capers happen in reality, rich man poor man living in fantasy” June 24, 2010


At last England get their groove back!

At last the England team showed some spirit and fight in beating Slovenia one-nil. Gone were the pathetic shadows that played against Algeria and back were players who actually seemed to have pride and passion. So now, thanks to a late USA goal against Algeria, we have to play Germany on Sunday at 3 o’clock. But at least we now appear to have a team more like Gladiators than Muppets.

aaawwwww come on guys, who stole my number?

Let’s hope it’s not the usual result against the Germans in a World Cup knockout match. As we well remember we beat them in the final in 1966, then lost 3-2 in the 1970 Quarter Finals after being two goals up and  in 1990 we lost on penalties in the semi Final. We also lost on penalties to them in the Semi Finals of Euro 96. How good would it be for Sundays match to go through extra time and for us to beat Germany on penalties? We must win a penalty shoot out sometime, right? just don’t let John Terry take one!

Have England got their mojo back? I hope so. I am proud to be an England supporter once again anyway!

On Sunday boys go out and do it for God, for Fabio and for England!

Here is Defoe’s goal from the Slovenia game

And finally as usual this is a music blog so here are a few appropriate(ish) songs

Everyone’s A Winner” – Hot Chocolate. These guys were one of my favourite bands in my formative years and did you know that their famous “You Sexy Thing” song was originally the B Side of a non hit called “Blue Night”?

Victorious” – Linda Bengtzing & Velvet. Honestly I had never heard of Linda before searching for appropriate songs for this post, but I now know she is Swedish!

Let’s Go All The Way” – Sly Fox. This was a big hit in 1985 and the vocalist was formerly a singer with one of my favourite bands Parliament/ Funkadelic, his name is Gary ‘Mudbone’ Cooper

 

“Now I know that you don’t care, about somebody else’s nightmare” June 21, 2010


The new England badge, three lie ins presumably!

Here is my second England update of the FIFA 2010 World Cup. Sorry it took so long to get around to it, but I’m still getting over Fridays game!

Who would have thought it possible that England’s performance against Algeria would have been worse than the last game against the USA? Not many of us, but not only was it worse, it was for me the most abject performance of an England team in the 40 odd years I have been watching them.

The finger of blame largely from the players has variously been pointed at the new ball, the loneliness and isolation of the team’s compound and now the manager. Strange isn’t it, that the players haven’t blamed themselves. Guys on Friday night you were truly pathetic. No passion, no fight and frankly no balls! I actually felt sorry for Algeria who probably deserved more than a draw.

But luckily for England it was a draw, which means that their journey into the next round is still within their control. They only need to beat Slovenia now. How easy does that sound? Well a couple of weeks back it seemed easy although now I’m not sure at all. This bunch of preening, arrogant, prima donna millionaires just need to perform. If they come home after this game it will be the first time since 1958 that England have failed to get past the group stage. On top of that they would deservedly become tabloid laughing stocks! Still in that event at least we won’t have to endure the stress of a penalty shoot out!

I reckon an inflatable team would perform better than the current mob. At least they'd be 'pumped up' for the game!

I do still hope that we get through, but bloody hell have this lot made it difficult! Still at least we’re not France, who are likely to be out of the competition soon. Their players also went on strike yesterday and refused to train following the sending home of Nicolas Anelka.

But as I’ve said before this is a music blog, so here are a few appropriate songs;

Pearls Cafe” – Specials. I chose this one simply for the hook line; “It’s all a load of bollocks” just like the England team in their last two games

Rubber Ball” – Bobby Vee. This one is here to give a shout to the official world cup football the Jo’bilani which is getting way too much blame

So Lonely” – Police. Why is this here? well the England players are lonely and bored in their five-star training and accommodation complex. Go and get a real job you tossers!

Let me finish with a little clip of Wayne Rooney criticising England supporters for booing and jeering the team. He did later apologise, but frankly it’s not good enough, think of what those fans have spent to get there! They deserve more!

 

“And my time is a piece of wax fallin’ on a termite” June 13, 2010


The song says that ‘Football’s coming home’ but after England’s performance yesterday it’s more likely that England will be coming home early. Their performance against the USA was pretty poor overall. Sure we suffered from the keeper Rob Green’s awful fumble (see below), but frankly we really weren’t up to the job. If we get far enough in the competition to play the likes of Italy, Spain, Brazil or Germany and we play like we did yesterday we will be slaughtered!

As for the commentary team, were they watching the same match? They kept saying how well the Gerrard and Lampard partnership was working. Most of the time I didn’t even realise that Lampard was on the pitch. For me he is the epitome of overrated and overpaid. It can only get better against Slovenia and Algeria, can’t it?

This has been a brief post match analysis of yesterdays England game against the USA in the FIFA World Cup 2010. But as I have said so many times before this is a music blog, so here are a few appropriate songs

Fuckin’ Up” – Neil Young with Pearl Jam. Especially for Robert Green

Loser” – Beck. For most of the England team

The Invisible Man” – Queen. Especially for Frank ‘Invisible’ Lampard

Star Spangled Banner” – Jimi Hendrix. For the USA team, well done guys

Things Can Only Get Better” – D Ream. For me because underneath it all I’m an optimist

Could this be what Rob Green saw on the terraces before his famous fumble?

 

“We ain’t no hooligans, this ain’t a football song” June 11, 2010


Well he we are the World Cup is once again upon us and it will be the 13th time that England have made it to the finals. We failed to qualify in 1974, 1978 and 1994. We didn’t enter the tournament until 1950 (it started in 1930), presumably because we too arrogant and assumed that we were best in the world already. That little myth was dispelled in the 1950 tournament when we lost to the USA in a group match. That is still seen as one of the biggest world cup upsets ever. Spookily enough we play the USA in our first game in South Africa 2010 tomorrow.

I know the song says “30 years of hurt” but that song is so old now that it is now in fact 44 years of hurt. It really is that long since we had our only victory in the tournament back in 1966. There have only ever been seven different countries who have won the world cup since it’s inception in 1930. Brazil (5 wins), Italy (4), Germany(3), Uruguay(2), Argentina (2), France (1) and England (1). So will this finally be England’s year? Well possibly, but not if it goes to penalties. But seriously with the players we have and the fantastic Fabio Capello as manager we must have a good chance. Spain are many peoples favourites and they do play some exquisite football, but pretty play doesn’t always win matches. Let’s hope that’s the case this time around. But for me and many other supporters watching England is often quite painful. I thought that was a peculiarly English thing, but I worked with some Germans in 2008 and watched the Germany games in the European Championships with them. They suffered just the same as us England fans, the key difference being that they are usually in the semi finals at least!

"Oi, Terry, Captains Armband........... NOW!"

This is also the first time the tournament has been held in Africa so it would be fantastic for one of the African teams to reach the final. Algeria are the African representatives in England’s group, our other group opponents are the previously mentioned USA and also Slovenia.

My fondest memories of this mighty tournament comes from 1970, the England team that year for me ranks as the best ever. How we lost to Germany in the quarter finals I do not understand. But Brazil were simply worlds apart from everyone that year, what a team.

I also recall that when I was young we used to chant for ENGLAND, what I’d like to know is why the hell has that now become INGERLAND? Your answers and suggestions are very welcome, even if they are completely made up.

Fabio signals to the referee and somehow I don't think he's talking about time added!

Now I must disappear and put the flags of St George on the car for the duration!

But before that I need to finish with some of my favourite England songs;

Back Home” – England 1970 World Cup Squad. The Daddy of all songs sung by football teams

World In Motion” – Englandneworder. Probably my favourite footie song ever and it even comes with a John Barnes rap!

Three Lions” – Baddiel and Skinner and the Lightning Seeds. Still emotes all the hurt of watching England get knocked out on penalties in seemingly every tournament

Vindaloo” – Fat Les. Unbelievably catchy and completely bizarre, but I love it.

Simon Cowell has got in on the act this year too, he has put together an England related cover of Tears For Fears “Shout” by James Corden and Dizzee Rascal

COME ON ENGLAND!
COME ON ENGLAND!

 

 
J. A. Allen

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साहित्य संगालो २०१३

विभिन्न साहित्यीक सर्जकहरु द्वारा लेखिएको सामाग्रीहरुको भण्डार हो साहित्य संगालो २०१३ साथै ख्याती प्राप्त कलाकार द्वारा रचित बिभिन्न विधाका गीतहरु पनि समावेस गरिएको छ साहित्य संगालो २०१३ मा । यस साहित्य संगालो २०१३ मा विभिन्न अनलाईन मिडियाबाट साभार गरिएका सामाग्रीहरु प्रस्तुत गरिएको छ।

a1000mistakes

Well, I'm dyslexic so writing about something I love: Music, might help but it's most likely just full of mistakes. That title is also lyrics from The Drones song called I Don't Want To Change. Oh, my name is William and thanks for having a look.

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