OK here goes with possibly my shortest gig review ever. Julian turned up at the venue complained about the lighting and fucked off home! Mr Cope you are not just a talented eccentric as I used to think; you are a twat, a diva, an arse, a tosser and someone who really couldn’t give a shit about his fans! Julian Cope you are the second biggest cunt in the world!
OK it’s a big day for all my UK readers, yes it’s General Election Day. I would like to urge you to turn up and vote and if you were thinking of sitting on your arse and not voting please think again. Spoil your paper if you believe that is your only option but make sure you turn up to vote. A couple of months ago I was in the depths of apathy about the election, I am pleased to say that I am no longer there. I will be voting to rid us of the current regime.
It is not for me to tell you who to vote for but may I suggest that you ask yourself the question can you really and honestly be prepared to put up with another five years of Tory rule? I certainly can’t. So vote for whoever you like but if you’re undecided then avoid the Tories and UKIP like the plague!
OK this is essentially a music blog so here is a, hopefully appropriate, song from the Style Council. Enjoy it and then get out there and bloody well vote!
“Above us only sky” January 24, 2015
I really can’t bear John Lennon’s “Imagine” although I am a big fan of much of what Lennon has recorded solo and with the Beatles. I believe this dislike of “Imagine” puts me in a minority so I was very pleased to come across someone else who doesn’t like it. None other than the brilliant John Cooper-Clarke.
He says ‘I regret ever hearing it in the first place. It’s nausea-inducing. The shallow sentimentality of it is ghastly. When I heard it I thought, maybe he’s just never been any good’. He goes on ‘I love the Beatles and John is one of the great voices, so it’s tragic that he should put his name to such drivel. The fact that it’s Britain’s number one song is suicide-inducing’
Very well said in my opinion Mr Cooper-Clarke. How many you agree or disagree or don’t really give a crap about it?
“I guess you didn’t care, and I guess I liked that” July 2, 2013
Not content with picketing the funerals of servicemen and women, gay people and Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman those arseholes at the Westboro Baptist Church are now attacking Taylor Swift. They have called her the ‘poster girl of the young whores of doomed-America‘
Clearly these fundamentalists have shit for brains and how come the Christian right isn’t shouting them down for at least being unpatriotic; ‘doomed-America’? How would these fuckwits react if we picketed their funerals and constantly pestered them with hate messages? Would anyone care if the Westboro Baptist Church was destroyed? I doubt even god would care. I suspect that if he/ she exists (and I don’t believe he/ she does) he/ she would break into a wry smile when hearing the news. But equally the fact that arrogant religious nutcases like this exist helps prove to me that there is no god, because if there was why would he/ she create such a bunch of moronic, bigoted wankers as those who are a part of the Westboro Baptist Church?
The video has sacrificial goats :-)
“A nation planted, so concerned with gain, as the seasons come and go, greater grows the pain” June 13, 2013
Many of us in the west are very lucky. A large majority of us have shelter and plenty of food. But we need to remember that millions of people around the world are not that lucky. Far too many people live in poverty with barely enough to eat. I do not believe this is right and I am sure that many of my readers will share that opinion. So let’s do our bit to stamp out poverty and malnutrition on our planet. We need our so-called leaders to act and we need them to act now. All you need to do right now is to sign an on-line petition that will send a message to the G8 group. We need them to get off their fat arses and do something for the world. Click here for the petition.
“You could be the DJ I could be the dance floor” April 24, 2013
It is with obvious regret and sadness that I have to announce the appalling news that JLS will be breaking up. I would also like to ask is that first sentence true? Well technically the bit about JLS breaking up was, but the obvious regret and sadness was in fact complete bollocks. My only sadness is that this didn’t happen so much sooner. How did we manage to give these useless pop muppets the oxygen of publicity for nearly five years! They arrived via a TV show which is less tasteful than the sulphur discharge from Satan‘s hemorrhoids; that’ll be the X Factor. They didn’t even finish first, that was the equally short on talent Alexandra Burke.
In five years they have clearly wrung their teenage audience dry (well technically they have drained the coffers of the parents of their teenage audience); four albums and five UK number one singles? What has the world come to? As if Westlife were not bad enough these boys have taken the worst of them and added a dance beat and more stage dancing. so goodbye to Oritse Williams, Marvin Humes, J.B. Gill and Aston Merrygold. I would love to say I’ll miss you, but that would be a lie. But I guess the ensuing solo albums might be so bad that they’ll be good for a laugh. One will do an album of German oompah style covers of the Dead Kennedy’s back catalogue, another will spit out a concept album about how My Little Pony‘s are made and the other two will collaborate on a re-recording of everything JLS have ever recorded using only flatulence and water! But obviously being the superstars that they are they couldn’t just break up and go away, they have to do the obligatory farewell tour, which has been very imaginatively titled ‘Goodbye; The Greatest Hits Tour’ which as you have probably guessed will be in support of the album ‘Goodbye: The Greatest Hits’. So clearly not a cynical cash in is it? Then there will be the reunion tour in 2023 to look forward to.
Finally and just to add a degree of balance I have included a video of one of their UK number ones just in case any of their obviously distraught fans has arrived here by mistake!