“We’ll fight until the whistle goes” June 24, 2012

It may have passed some of you by but we are in the middle of the European Football Championships, better known as Euro 2012. Against the majority of expectations my national team, England have not only progressed beyond the group stage they actually won their group as well. Putting France into second place and eliminating one of the host nations, Ukraine.

Later today England play Italy for a semi final place where the winners of todays game will play Germany. I believe that England can win today. However recent history says that if we do and then go on to play Germany in the semi final the game will go to extra time and Germany will win the penalty shoot out. Just like at the Italia ’90 World Cup and on our home turf in Euro ’96. Obviously I would love for ‘football to come home’ and for us to beat the Italians, the Germans and whoever awaits us in the final. But it’s now 46 years since we won a major tournament. Is this our time? Well my fingers are crossed and so far the team have been light years better than their disastrous showing at the South Africa World Cup back in 2010 so who knows.

How many of you can actually remember this? I can, but I was only 7 at the time

So let’s cheer the team on with the first hit England song, the most heartfelt England song and in my opinion the best England song. All three of which went to number one in the UK charts. ENGERLAND, ENGERLAND, ENGERLAND….. repeat until you lose your voice!

“Arrivederci it’s one on one” February 27, 2012

As always there will probably be a glut football songs to go with England‘s likely embarrassment in the Euro 2012 tournament in Poland and the Ukraine this summer. But whilst this bunch of millionaire losers fail on the fields of eastern Europe there will at least be a, possibly, credible anthem to listen to while you mock them. According to the NME New Order (without Hooky I assume) may be re-recording 1990’s “World In Motion” with Tinie Tempah and Dizzee Rascal.

Finally Lampard felt comfortable in the midfield hole

Nothing is certain yet, other than perhaps England falling flat on their rich pathetic faces. Unless of course they bring in ‘Arry. But I have always liked the song. As footie tunes go it’s top class. I presume that Tinie or Dizzee will fill the slot where the original John Barnes rap was. The alternative would be to get one of the players, many of whom can barely string a conversation together, to do it. John Terry for example ‘I’m over the moon cos I’m on football tune. I’m a racialist and I like to get pissed. I’ve shagged Wayne Bridge‘s bird and I like dirty words. That disabled space is mine and I won’t pay the fine. I’ve played real crap and I really can’t rap. I’m Captain of Engerland and I’m………. errr no I’m not anymore am I? Oh bollocks!’

In the meantime enjoy the original version and click here if you want to read the story on the NME.

John Terry tries to tell the world he's a right tit, but he can't get that right either!